I've been thinking a lot about Max's and Zannah's birthmoms. About how there aren't words to amply express my gratitude or love for them. We spent time in the hospital with both of them and were there to hug them goodbye as both babies were placed in our arms for good. But, a hug and a thank-you were hugely inadequate.
With Zannah, I was so anxious to get her and so scared after holding her that the whole thing might still fall through, I selfishly and secretly couldn't wait to say goodbye to Peggy. As we spent the 48 required hours in the hospital, Marcus would kick my foot and give me the look, which meant I needed to let others hold Zannah and I grudgingly complied. Peggy and her family were so accomodating to us and so gracious, yet I was stressed and impatient. I know much of it can be attributed to being a first time mom--I didn't want anyone but me to hold Zannah for the first 6 months! But, I still wish I had been better. After bringing Zannah home, I remember asking my Aunt Carol, who also has adopted, if she was happy that she didn't know the birthmoms. She said she would give anything to give them a hug and tell them thank you. I thought she was crazy, it seemed nice to just pick up a baby at the hospital, no strings attached.
By the time Max came around, my heart had changed. I would give anything to have hugged Peggy a little tighter and have loved her a little more.
As soon as I met Anastasia, I loved her. The 34 hours we spent with her weren't enough. She held Max as much as she wanted without me hovering over. I wasn't a basketcase, I wasn't stepping out into the hall to cry or wishing the time away. I am so grateful Heavenly Father gave me a chance to do better the second time around.
We recently recieved a sweet letter from Anastasia, I cried as I read it. What incredible women both of our birthmothers are. How blessed Zannah and Max are to come from a love so unselfish and so pure. And even though thank you isn't enough, I'm so glad I was able to say it face to face.
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9 comments:
I think you're right. It doesn't seem like it's possible to say it enough. Birth moms are amazing!
Lynsey, going back and catching up on a few for your posts you made me laugh and cry all in the same setting! Laugh at Z the "thief". And of course it brought tears to my eyes as you expressed your love for your sweet angels birth moms. As always I miss you. I called you the other day and could not get through, I will call again SOON!
I love you Lynsey!
What a sweet post.
I too am catching up on past posts. What a wonderful and can we say adorable family you have.
That is such a sweet and thought provoking post. You have so much love for your children it is enlightening.
so this is unrelated, but do you still make baby girl shoes? black ones? or do you sell the pattern? i remember seeing them a while ago...but i can totally understand if you have had to take a break!! :)
I love all my wonderful family!!! But when I read your post about "thank you" isn't enough..I admit that I have an extra heart string connected to you. Tiffani just had a birthday and the whole day I wondered where her birth mom was and hoped she somehow felt peace that her tiny daughter was so loved!! And Kade's birthday is the same. In my mind though I still think of those two birth moms being in their teens...I was shocked on Tiff's birthday when I realize that her birth mom was probably 55 years old.
So, let me just say that Zannah and Max are loved double...and certainly are blessed with you and Marcus. love you
I love your blog so much, Lynsey. Your thoughts are just beautiful.
Congrats... I am slow but eventually i try to catch up on the news.. I am so happy for you and Marcus..
Every Mother's Day I am especially grateful that a very mature and selfless teenage girl made the decision to let me go to the Mom that raised & taught & loved me so much. Someday I hope to have the opportunity to say "Thank you". Love ya Lyns.
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