When I'm on call for work, I'm a no nonsense kinda gal. I'm cordial and professional to the patients, but I don't chit chat. I want to get in and out quickly and back home to bed. To be honest, I have to be this way or I would blow a gasket. Most middle of the night "ultrasound worthy" emergencies are for pelvic bleeding or pain. Which means pregnancy: my nemesis. And most of these pregnant girls are under 18. And many of them could care less about that little life on the screen, or at least act that way. And some of these girls are there because of an abortion gone wrong. So, I detatch myself from the situation. I bite my lip to control my tears, clench my fist around the probe to control my anger, and silently give them the lecture of a lifetime.
This last week was different. She was witty and sweet and sincerely panicking over her positive pregnancy test. This was not supposed to happen. She had undergone surgical measures to prevent this. She wanted to know how she was going to handle and afford 5 kids under the age of 7.
Within seconds, it was obvious she was pregnant. And I started giggling, which turned into laughter. I quickly explained my odd behavior. The irony of the extremes that she and I have both gone through to obtain what the other desperately wants. So, here we were, late at night, she definitely pregnant and I definitely not.
We both laughed, undoubtedly to hide our tears. The laughter released months of bitterness I had harbored. She said she would pray for me and I promised to pray for her. I did exactly that today, because despite what I want to believe, my trials are no harder than hers.
My Blog List
What
9 comments:
I've wondered about that, it is an interesting position to be in, no doubt excruciating at times.
Wow Lyns, that was just what I needed to hear, honestly you can't know how perfect that was for me! Hey I have an idea when you have stupid women come in just pretend you HAVE to give them the vaginal ultra sounds those suck!!
Oh Lynsey! You have me in tears. I so remember those feelings! I remember a sister-in-law standing in my kitchen crying because her baby was still a baby and another was on the way. Crazy how trials can be so different for each of us...and very real trials none-the-less. Love Ya!
you are such an amazing person, seriously! i don't know if i could face that trial and be so mature about it...
Oh Lynsey, I needed to hear that, too. I guess I need to change my thinking a bit. It's all about how you look at it...her trial is just as real as yours, and mine, and everyone else out there. Thanks!
Irony really sucks somedays and it doesn't make any sense! Why do women have babies that don't want them and women can't have them and and want one desparately? Why do some people have gobs of money and other people work so hard and barely scrap by? That's the big question---WHY? We'll know someday.... Love you guys!
You are amazing. Reading this, I realized that I am not terribly empathetic to people "suffering" through what I want.
Yeah, both trials are hard, but she gets a sweet, little, wiggly baby (however unwanted) at the end of her trial. OK, 5 under 7 is rough... but still... did I mention you are amazing?
Love you Lynsey! I'm praying for you too. (See ya in Denver)
Oh, Lynsey! I don't know how you work in that environment. I know I couldn't do it. You handle it so well. I have learned a lot from you. You seriously are so strong and have handled it so much better than I ever did. I know how frustrating it is when people take pregnancy so lightly or even negatively. They should be thankful for what they have. I was not expecting baby #2 so soon but boy am I thankful to have him. You are such an awesome mom and I pray for you always.
Post a Comment